Pretty ugly already, yes? Well, added to the supreme ugliness is the fact that they aren't even historically accurate. At all.
Gladiators, first of all, were slaves. They weren't fancy fighting men, they were usually farmers and other unfortunates who pissed off their local senators. Not only that, they weren't issued shoes. They fought and died barefoot on the hot sand of the Colosseum for the amusement of a barbaric culture. No glamor, no winning free, and no shoes.
So, why the hell do we have shoes named after them?
Now, let's get to the good part. Why are they so ugly? Well... look at this:
Hello, strips of toxic waste. What do these go with? Besides Greek togas, what do these go with?
Not short skirts, that would look... patently ridiculous. Not pants, as A. there would be no point and B. the person wearing such a combination would look like an idiot wearing strappy sandals with long pants. So, nothing. These people are attaching strips of brightly colored faux leather to their feet for no discernible reason. Sounds like a fashion faux-pas to me.
And seriously... don't they look uncomfortable, with no style payoff? How would a person's feet feel after walking around in them all day? Just imagine that for a second. Now, why in the world would anyone be that uncomfortable without looking ridiculously hot? Because that's the only excuse for wearing uncomfortable shoes- looking sexy. These shoes are anything but sexy.
Sorry about the lack of updating yesterday, I felt terrible, and I don't have enough followers to bravely soldier on in the spirit of conquering adversity to get my cutting fashion critique to you on time. Now, if I had about a hundred of you people watching, then yeah, I could drag myself out of bed.
Tomorrow's topic: Crocs.
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