Crocodile tears

As you may have guessed, today's topic is... Crocs. Yes, those ridiculous rubber clogs that some people insist on trudging around in.
'But Lizzy', you say, 'everyone picks on Crocs. Can't you find some other hilarious fashion faux-pas to snark about?'
'Well, my faithful follower,' I reply, 'I would be remiss if I didn't pick on Crocs, and you would be sure to ask me why I hadn't. So shut your mouth and let me complete my mandatory Crocs post.'
So. Crocs. Honestly, what's to like about them?
Just look at that pile of Croc. Does it look like a pile of solidified industrial waste to you too? Yeah, I thought so. What do these even go with? Scrubs?

Okay, I can give you scrubs. Anyone who may save my life is allowed to wear whatever they want to. But I've seen people in semi-professional positions wear them to work. These shoes are not your work shoes. These shoes should be your 'toss them in the trash along with your disco clothes and that terrible music you used to listen to ages ago' shoes. (Yeah, I know all about that one song you used to love.)

Okay, we're getting to the worst part. Cover your eyes if you're squeamish, because I'm about to show you some pretty horrifying imagery.
Ready?
You sure?
That. Those are... holiday Crocs. Winter Crocs, if you will. Now, why would you wear shoes with holes in them during the winter? Is your comfort so important to you that you'd forgo... comfort?
And another thing- now they make Crocs that ape the look of other, more attractive shoes. No, Crocs, we can all tell when someone is wearing you. You can't hide your ugliness behind different patterns.
And now I leave you with one more picture of industrial waste, just to ruin the rest of your day. No need to thank me, I pat myself on the back enough as it is.